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addictions to osteoporosis,
also obesity and insomnia |
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beyond health, wellness
at
work, nutrition |
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a-z mental
health :
anger management
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Anger management: strategies
for controlling your anger |
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Cognitive
Restructuring |
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Simply put, this means changing
the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak
in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts.
When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and
overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more reasonable
ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, 'Oh, it's awful,
it's terrible, everything's ruined,' tell yourself, 'It's frustrating,
and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not
the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it
anyhow.' |
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Be careful of words like 'never'
or 'always' when talking about yourself or someone else. 'This
machine never works,' or 'You're always forgetting things' are
not just inaccurate; they also tend to make you feel that your
anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem.
They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise
be willing to work with you on a solution. |
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For example, suppose you have a
friend who is constantly late when you have made plans to meet.
Don't go on the attack; think instead about the goal you want
to accomplish--getting you and your friend there at about the
same time. Avoid saying things like, 'You're always late! You're
the most irresponsible, inconsiderate person I’ve ever
met!' The only goal that accomplishes is hurting and angering
your friend. |
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State what
the problem is, and try to find a solution that works for both
of you; or take matters into your own hands. For example, you
might set your meeting time a half-hour early, so that your
friend will, in fact, get there on time, even if you have to
trick him or her into doing it! Either way, the problem is solved
and the friendship isn't damaged. |
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Logic defeats anger, because anger,
even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So
use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world
is not 'out to get you,' you're just experiencing some of the
rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger
getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced
perspective. |
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Angry people tend to demand things:
fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things
their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt
and disappointed when we don't get them; but angry people demand
them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment
becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry
people need to become aware of their demanding nature, and translate
their expectations into desires. In other words, saying 'I would
like' something is healthier than saying 'I demand' or 'I must
have' something. When you're unable to get what you want, you
will experience the normal reactions--frustration, disappointment,
hurt--but not anger. Some angry people use their anger as a
way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes
away. |
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For professional assistance
with anger management please call Wellnet on 084 944 9444 and
a consultant will refer you to a counselor in your area. |
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